Crimson Hair and Strange Emotions
by Rae'vyn Phiar
Summary: Being injured and emotionally unstable are not good for either party here. AkuRoku - Rated M for semi-adult mental content. If you aren't mentally mature with thought patterns, you will not understand.


_I finally did more research! AHHHH! Anywhoo~ I make Axel nearly to tears... Yeah... A lot of good old fashion AGNST! Sorry if it's not what you expected or you don't like it. Thank you!_

_Please review and comment. Your feedback is awesome! Also, please suggest new story ideas. This one was sort of one in the back of my head..._

_If I wanted to own Kingdom Hearts, I'd need to work for quite a long time to get the money. I DO NOT OWN!_

_Lots of Angst, and if you haven't really matured mentally, and if you expecting a smut or a lot of yaoi, this one is probably not for you._

**AkuRoku – Crimson Hair and Strange Emotions**

The black cloak of night that never touched this place frustrated Roxas. The place that held the clock tower where he stood never saw the kiss of starlight or the full strength of the noon sun. Why was it trapped like this?

He smiled. Why was he thinking about a place like this so deeply? It was any different than the Castle, which was forever cloaked in darkness. He placed a hand on the cool bricks and stone as he waited for Axel to arrive. The man was always late, probably sleeping again, the idiot.

He couldn't blame him though. He got a shitty mission, he didn't know where to or what he did, but Roxas had seen the redhead for a few seconds before he went to his room. He was beat up and bleeding, white bandages wrapped around his head and his ungloved hands. His hair had been caked with blood, making the crimson strands only a touch darker. He'd also had a black eye, and the blonde remembered him smiling past the pain as he shut the door marked thirteen.

The boy clenched his hand into a fist and punched the brick wall, gritting his teeth as his gloved hand slammed into a wall of pain. He hated to see the elder in pain, and the thought made his blood boil. He shook it off, sighing in frustration, and sat against the wall, facing the eternal sunset and reveling in its feeble warmth.

Why did he feel that way about it? It's not like they, any of the Organization, really, came home without a few scratches. It was mostly Demyx and Xion, but never Axel to this extent...

Roxas jumped a little as he heard footsteps. He looked behind him and the tall man smirked and walked up to him. His head wasn't bandaged anymore, and by the look of his red hair, he'd showered before he'd left, the strands at the back dripping a little.

When he stepped closer, the blonde noticed that his eye was only a little bruised and that he was out of breath.

"I got here as fast as I could. Sorry for being late." He sat on the edge of the ledge Roxas sat on, lying back with his hands behind his head. "I was hurting really bad. I slept it off and came here, though. Maybe I _shouldn't_ have promised we'd come here…"

The look that was on his face, even though his eyes were closed, relayed massive amounts pain. Then his eyes opened slowly and he yawned. His eyes relayed longing, pain, and sorrow, which was emulated in the way he had to support himself as he rose.

Roxas knew that this was a bad idea. Why did he say they'd come here, and why did he even try to come here when he knew he was still hurt, the dumbass.

"I'm still hurting. This sort of sucks. Can we go back?" Understanding this, the blonde clapped a hand to his shoulder lightly and nodded. The expression on the elder's face alone made him want to go.

They portaled out of Twilight Town and back into the Castle, their portals syncing up to meet in the same room; Axel's. Why this room was chosen out of all the locations, Roxas didn't know, but the redhead seemed relieved to be back, flopping himself on his back into his bed. He covered his eyes in the crook of his elbow, blocking out the light, his other hand resting at his stomach.

Then he raised his hand from his eyes and opened them slightly, pointing and then gesturing at the blonde to come closer. There was a slight smile on his lips when the boy compiled, and it widened a little, his eyes warming with care, when he sat at the head of the bed. The bedframe creaked slightly as Roxas sat gingerly on the older person's bed, trying not to jostle him too much.

He still cringed a touch, and his white teeth clenched a little as he pressed a hand to his side.

"I cracked a rib. Vexen says it'll be fine in a few hours, but to not move around too much."

"Dammit, Axel! You should've told me! Then I would've let you sleep and not have to go with me. I wouldn't make you get up if you were still hurt." His mind leapt into alertness, trying to think of ways to stop himself from hurting the fire wielder.

The eyes turned into hard emeralds, and the smile into severity as the man spoke, cutting through the thoughts. "Stop thinking. You're fine; it's just me who's hurting here. I'm really- it's really not too bad. I can handle it. Just don't leave, please?" The hand lying on his stomach rose and clasped his hand into the younger's.

The white bandages were rough against his skin… Why…? '_Saїx, you gave him such a shitty mission… He's hurt… I hate you for that….'_ His face was a mask of sorrow, which he didn't really feel, being a Nobody and all, but it felt real… All he knew was hate and pain, wishing he could take those injuries away when they'd been fresh, just to relieve that one person who he knew hated pain more than even Marluxia…

"Rox? Hey? You're sort of shivering…"

The hand moved to cup his jaw. "You're thinking again? Why don't you ever speak about what going on in there?"

He brushed the hand away, pausing before he spoke. "Because… What's in my head is that only thing that's safe from outside intruders. The only place I'm safe to say what I want and do what I want without threats of pain or hate… I think a lot…"

"Then stop thinking. Simple solution." He smiled and leaned forward. "Do I need to explain why?" The blonde felt his stomach turn, but the other half of his mind was screaming at him to shut up and let what would inevitably happen just happen. To allow that, he'd have to stop thinking entirely, and he'd never allow that.

"Yes. Yes you do." The elder wrapped him in his embrace. He heard him gasp a bit and his breath hitched as he clutched at his side, but he still had a smile on his lips.

"The reason why is because you never allow yourself to truly _feel_, Roxas. Even though we technically _can't_, we all still have memories of those feelings and emotions. We still feel, to an extent. We never understand why we feel these emotions, nor why we react to them the ways we do, but I still feel pain and happiness and sorrow, even love and lust and greed. Those were deep inside of me when I was formed, but they laid dormant for so long I barely noticed their existence."

His eyes blazed green as he spoke. "But then you came. You were the one who allowed me to feel again." He swallowed. "And why do you think I don't want that for you too? You're more of a Somebody than I am anyway, being able to identify with who you are and allow these things to overflow your mind into actions."

His voice grew harsh, but softer. "I envy you, Roxas, for being able to feel things I cannot anymore. Why can't I get into your head…?" His thoughts shattered the younger Nobody.

"You… envy me?" He tried to throw the elder's arms off him, but to no avail. "It's not my fault! We're different beings, after all. Did you sort of forget that little detail? We're separate, but the same… sort of…"

"Then what am I? Tell me… How different are we?" His tone challenged the boy, even though it was whispered into his ear.

"I don't know…" He stopped fighting. "But… I don't care either…" He was crying, dammit. _'Dammit Axel… I hate you when you try to get inside of my head… But that's normal for you, isn't it?'_ "You're hurt. I should leave so you can sleep."

"No! Don't leave." The cry was almost a scream, and his ear popped at the sound, the voice resounding around the fairly empty space. "Please?" The voice shook, and he seemed truly afraid. '_And I thought he couldn't feel like I could… He's a liar… but he's scared of being alone… just like me…'_

Finally, after what was really a few minutes, but felt like days, the redhead of the pair was granted the warmth of the younger one's embrace.

"Axel, don't be scared… I know what that's like… You're older than I am, so you shouldn't be so scared of this. I should, if anyone…" The tighter the hold got, the more his ribs throbbed, but the elder didn't mind. It was true, this strange sense of alertness and anxiety ate at him almost indefinitely… The _fear_ of never seeing this boy again shook him to the very core of his existence. "I'll stay… So stop being afraid."

"If you promise to stay if I fall asleep…" He was already nodding off.

"Sure."

"Thank you…"


End file.
